Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Another Day, Another Bailed Out Corporation

Sometime early this morning, I woke from a terrible nightmare. The treasury had been printing cash at an astounding rate, and the streets were literally lined in Benjamins.
At first, I thought this was some fantasy land, and half expected a whirling dervish of nude leprechauns to make their way down the road, all tee-hee's! and ha ha's!, before finally falling into some epically strange homosexual elfin orgy on that sea of green.
That is until I was met with a sharply dressed man: Three piece suit, pocket square, you know the type. He was swinging from a hastily tied noose strung from a streetlamp. Beyond pale, the man bore a similar shade to the currency lining the thoroughfare.
Then, I came across another. And another. From every high hanging place dangled yet another power player of the corporate world.
Had it really happened? Had the government bailed AIG, amplifying our national debt? Had they printed more cash, further bankrupting the dollar in the face of international currency?
Oh, they had, my dear readers. They had. We, the American taxpayers, are now the proud owners of yet another corporation.
Where does it all end? When does the government finally say: You know what? You fucked up. Deal with it.
Or, do they say: You know what? Privatized business can't be trusted to handle themselves anymore. We're taking you all over so this shit doesn't happen again.
Who knows. I don't.
Why can't I just dream of leprechauns with homosexual proclivities? Life would be so much easier.

No comments: