Madonna, Hang it Up Already

There's been a lot in the news about Madonna's big money divorce from director Guy Ritchie. And the more I hear (and see) of her, the more I wish she'd just go away.

Let's face it. Madonna's good days are LOOONNNNNG behind her. Yet she insists on heading out of one of her many mansions in next to nothing other than fifty pounds of makeup. Everywhere I look, somebody's talking about what a great body she has for her age, what awesome biceps, legs, etc.

Well, I don't know about you, but when I see Madonna, I see Skeletor's evil queen. Veiny ladies just aren't hot. They're manly.

Furthermore, she's one of the most disingenuous people on the planet. Such a chameleon she's become a caricature of herself. I remember seeing an interview with her a few years ago when she busted out a British accent. She's kidding no one but herself by dressing in skimpy clothes and cowboy hats. No longer a trend-setter, Madonna's a walking punchline.

Let's get something perfectly clear, here. I'm not saying fifty plus year old women can't be hot. Quite the contrary. For example, I think Helen Mirren is hot, and she's sixty-three.

What I am saying is that Madonna isn't hot. In fact, she's downright disgusting.

And what's the deal with A-Rod going out with her? As if I needed another reason to hate the Yankees, this moron trades in his absolute smokeshow wife for a waning shade of her former self. Talk about trading up.

I just don't get it. A-Rod's the highest paid player in baseball, so it's not like he needs the money. And having Madonna on your arm is no longer a prestige piece: More like escorting Joan Rivers to those red carpet events. But hey: Whatever floats your boat. Just remember to pack the KY, A-Rod. You're going to need it.