OK, A Diversion, Then Back to the Republicans

Alright. So I can't find the video on the web. But today's speech by President Obama to House Democrats had to be one of the most entertaining things I've seen in awhile. Talk about common sense... the Prez was just oozing it today.

And it's about goddamned time. After weeks of Republican stalling, the Prez had no other choice but to finally get out there, take things personally, and more or less say, "There's only one way. My way." We don't have time to fuck around.

Sure. The Republicans are going to complain. They probably won't vote for the stimulus. But they weren't going to, anyway. They're just trying to get in the news as contrarian voices, continuing the old Washington game. But screw them. Their starving constituents will see through the political bullshit.

So bravo, President Obama. While you have power and popular backing, you've got to use it. The Democrats need to pass this thing, ASAP. Action is required now. Talk is cheap.

Is THAT the Best You've Got?!?

Recently, news corporations have told me that this piece of shit to my right is the man that I, as a Liberal, have to fear: The new Conservative voice, Rush Limbaugh.

My reaction: Are you serious? This guy has been around for what seems like decades, and the only people that take him seriously are White Supremacists and the intellectually impaired (both of whom are often interchangeable).

I mean, seriously. The new Conservative voice? Rush Limbaugh makes Ronald Reagan look like Barack Obama. He's just a hair to the left of Mussolini, for shit's sake. If this is whom Conservatives want to emulate, by all means: Do so. Drive the moderates to the left. We won't mind.

This waste of skin is nothing more than a racist gay-bashing hypocrite. He's too divisive a figure to act as a mouthpiece for his party. If you have the education of a 12-year-old backwoods pig fucker, you like him. If you've a college degree and any sense of reason, you hate him. The end.

I could go on about Rush, but he's not worth my time. He'll just continue being a contrarian voice during Democratic administrations, a salad tossing Conservative cheerleader during the next Republican administration.

Next up: Sarah Palin.

Who Cares?

So, Michael Phelps likes to hit the bong every so often, and I'm thinking BIG FUCKING DEAL! This was the dude who, against all odds, managed to win 8 goddamned gold medals, legitimately, without the help of steroids, blood doping, HGH.

This is the man who had a nation bursting with pride at his accomplishment. Yes, the USA may wrongly think it can do whatever it wants on the world stage. We can invade Iraq without UN backing. We can choose to ignore the Geneva Convention in the name of the War on Terror. In the eyes of the world, we may seem little better morally than the "terrorists" we torture, but hell: Only AMERICA could produce a swimmer of Michael Phelps' stature. In the swimming pool, AMERICA can do ANYTHING. And there's nothing the world can do about it! Take that, France!

Look at us now: A country once so grateful for Phelps' accomplishment has become a nation of critics. How could Phelps, such an icon to American youth, break their hearts?

More importantly, How could the swimmer do it by smoking that hated Mary Jane?

Because, guess what: After the Athens Olympics, Phelps got busted for a DUI. The reaction to that little misadventure: Somewhat ho-hum. But now that he's smoked a bong, the anti-drug chickens have come home to roost.

They say: We're ashamed of you, Michael. How could you do this to us, Michael? How could you do this to the children?

I say: Have you no shame? This is the man who brought America glory at the Olympic games. This is the man who makes your kids care about swimming, a sport nobody cares about. This is the man who may singlehandedly destroy childhood obesity!

Ok. Maybe that's going a bit far. But who the hell cares what he does in his off time? Man smokes a bong, and you're ready to crucify him? Are you shittin' me?

Let me tell you something, you critics. With each passing day, we grow nearer to legalizing the herb. So get used to it. Soon enough, you'll see men walking down the street smoking bongs, and there'll be nothing you can do about it.

As for you, Michael: Smoke on. And don't apologize to anyone. You shouldn't feel guilty for smoking a little bud. You're 23-years-old. Smoking pot's the natural thing to do at that age. So, toke up while you can, buddy. London's only three years away.